Im writing a book called the Book of Monsters. I am on my 4th draft of the first chapter and would love to receive some feedback. Thank you!:)

Something was wrong. I was halfway through cutting the liver free when I noticed a throb from the upper body of the Giant’s chest. I pulled up from the dissection and curiously scanned over the exposed organs. The reddish-white ribcage had a pair of massive peach colored lungs under them. In between the lungs and the ribcage was the Giant’s heart. I sat on the large intestine, cross-legged, inspecting the torso.

Giant’s weren’t host creatures, and this one was already dead when I started. Abnormal’s were particularly strange, but even they didn’t break Divine and Accursed laws. I looked at the grassland, where the Pentagram lay around the creature. The five candles arranged in a star pattern were still lit, nothing had broken the ritual flames. I turned my head and checked the blood glyphs on the Ettin-kin’s thigh. The symbol for Containment and Drain had been drawn in my blood, and remained unchanged.

My brow furrowed as I stood up on the large intestine of the Giant. The intestine squelched as I balanced on it, and I warily looked over the rest of the body. I shouldn’t be so nervous, I thought, it could have been an organ deflating, or the head sinking in. Transference wouldn’t happen here, and if it did that would be quite a—

The heart rapidly bulged outward, expanding its size and pressing against parts of the ribcage and pushing past the lungs. A crack of white hot light burst forward from top of the heart, creating a godray in the sky. The entire heart began to glow and two more cracks formed from the heart, both shooting upwards and creating a burning sound from the inside, as if someone was roasting the organ.

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My eyes widened as I stood in shock for a moment. The Abnormal had found a way to break through the Ritual. Souls weren’t supposed to transfer through Pentagrams, yet this one was.

Even they didn’t break Divine and Accursed laws, I thought, as it echoed in the back of my mind.

I kept my eyes focused on the heart as I deposited my dissectors knife within my apron and reached inside my coat for my pocket journal. I flipped to an empty page and started furiously writing.

Subject: Abnormal Giant-kin.

An anomaly has occurred. The subject’s Soul Stone has begun to transfer, ignoring my Pentagram and Containment blood glyph. Many will refer to this as an impossibility, a monster of the Nine Colns cannot transfer through a proper Pentagram, and any attempt to do so is blocked by the type of the creature’s law.

I have checked my Ritual, nothing is broken. The creature is transferring through it. I, Salazzar Hawthorn, researcher of Monsters, have stumbled across something amazing. If this is true transference through a Pentagram, then that can only mean—>

A burning sensation rose from my shoulder, as a streak of white hot light shot directly at me. I dropped my pen and twisted out of the way, clutching my book and awkwardly stumbling backwards across the intestine. The back of my heel caught, and I tumbled off the Giant and fell onto the grassland floor on my back.

I groaned as the simultaneous pain of a stinging shoulder and a bruised upper back hit me. The sky was scattered with four godrays of white hot Accursed light. Thankfully the Edge Guard wasn’t stationed on the Toretta Plains, leaving me free to study the anomaly.

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A grin crept across my face, the hair on my arms pricked up, and I crawled my way upwards from the grassland floor. Finding a preserved Monster corpse was wondrous enough, usually they transferred before I could document them. But now, I get to experience and document a Transference anomaly in the book.

I already had notes of the stomach, liver, gall bladder, and other organ parts useful for elixirs in the book. But I hadn’t documented a Soul Stone or the transference process, and both would make fascinating chapters.

But furthermore, if I actually retrieved the Soul Stone from the Ettin…that would be something else. I could study it, ritual cast the Soul, and find out what made it so special.

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