Last year we got a new trainee who supports our sales team – Kevina. This girl is the most entertaining thing that ever happened to my workplace and here's why:
Kevina told us a story about how she wanted to have a cool pattern in her hair so she took a puncher and tried to punch holes in her hair several times. She was shocked that her hair just got cut off instead. We assumed she was like 9 or 10 years old during that story but when we asked she said that it happened a year ago.
Kevina called a brachiosaurus a "Longneck-Rex" unironically.
Kevina had schnitzel for lunch and thought it was a good idea to put it on the heater to keep it warm enough for her dad to eat in the evening. She proceeded to forget it there and called later that we have to remove the schnitzel so it wouldn't catch fire.
Kevina didn't want to hide some balloons in a locker because she thought that balloons would pop if they can't "breathe".
Kevina got an assignment and my boss jokingly called it "industrial espionage". Kevina proceeded to title every document related to her assignment that way.
Kevina wanted to buy and keep otters in her backyard.
Kevina asked a professional translator if she could translate things in general.
Bless her heart.