Here’s a bit of stream of consciousness. Would you care to read it and perhaps provide some feedback? It would greatly help me understand what’s going on.
We can be whatever you want Even when you strip away the things I want we can still be friends as long as it’s what you want. When I’m mad and sad and frustrated. No matter what I do to be near you it isn’t enough. You take away everything and leave me trying to hold on. But it feels like it’s time to let go.
You’re asking me to be something I’m not. You’re asking me to be mature and bite my tongue. To hide the way I feel. To turn away from what I felt inside. To lick it up and throw it away. Deny myself and negate my own experience. How fucked up am I? Why did I enable this?
When all someone does is clarify the view of your inadequacy. Sharpens the definition to reveal the details of each and every shortcoming. One after the other.
You can’t have what you got from me anymore. No matter what it was. Was it for you or was it for me? Where else will you look when you realize? What was I?
You wouldn’t choose me.
I would always choose what you were to me but are no longer. The idea of you is naive and immature. I could never be what you wanted. Then why?
I’ll always try to hold on. Until I can no longer.
Taking away someone’s ability to express themselves and leaving behind their ability to feel is cruel and unfair.