(On mobile, English not my first language) Not sure this is the right place to post, so let me know and I'll take it down.

I went through a period where I stopped writing. For several years, while the thought of opening a notebook and just writing random scenes or ideas was still exiting, I never actually sat down to do it. Slowly it lost its appeal completely. Writing was the one thing I was comfortable doing. I could get lost in my nonsense for HOURS and in the end I'd feel kind of proud? But now I gag at the idea of a blank sheet and constant lapsus and the constant "what's the point" thought.

I knew all along what the problem was: I stopped reading. In late middle school/early high school I went through a period where all I ever did was read (i even had books in the bathroom) — to the point where my mother confiscated all of then. I Just came home one day and she had locked up/donated all of my books. Because I didn't want that to stop me from doing my homework because screw school ( I was super cool, I know), I began fully embracing the internet, which is when I started writing. I had discovered fanfiction and it was great at first. I went from reading it nonstop to contributing to the endless forums. I ended up posting some of my stories on Tumblr and I gained a few thousands of followers. I was extremely happy.

But because the internet is a black hole, I slowly but surely started getting distracted, by social media mostly. I got sucked down for YEARS, not doing anything constructive. It got so bad that I couldn't read even one page without my brain completely shutting down. Writing and literature was over for me. I felt like crap and my self esteem (in what had previously been a subject I felt proud of) went out the window.

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While unpacking in my new apartment this past month, and putting hundreds of untouched books on the shelf that I couldn't bring myself to get rid of, I picked up the Harry Potter series and

and I just started reading it from the beginning.

It was horrible at first. I couldn't get lost in the story, I kept making passive aggressive comments about her first book and how I would've edited it and made it better,

…and then something clicked. I have no goddamn clue what triggered it but I just started picking up post-it notes and making little comments. What I liked about certain paragraphs, what didn't work (for me) in the dialogue, highlighting things that struck a cord with me, noticing character development, etc.

I am just super proud to share that I'm on the fourth book and still going. I'm really hoping this means that I'll be able to pick up a book I've never read before and maybe even take up writing again, even if it means starting off slowly.

Fin.

Source: reddit post


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