So I've been holding this in for awhile, but it's starting to eat me alive so I need to let this out. Sorry if I annoy.
Life has gotten hard for me to deal with. Two big plans I had for moving out have recently fallen through and now all the pressure is on me. I had a plan to have a roommate to help me move out and finally be fully in control of my own life. She however is not getting ready fast enough and doesn't seem to be taking this nearly as seriously as I am. So now I have no choice but to be the sole breadwinner of this operation in a place where everything costs lots….and lots…of money and the pay is very…very..small.
My fear to be honest, my biggest fear is that I'm going to get trapped in the cycle of having a job I hate that takes all my time and energy. I'll always look at my writing, say "I'm tired I'll do it later" and I'll do that for weeks…then months…then years…and before I know it I'm 40 and my novel still isn't written. You get me?
I've tried talking to my friend group about this but none of them seem to understand. They don't get that I've seen over 10 people do this. The big distressing thing is one friend I had had an amazing book planned. Now it's been all but forgotten to the daily grind. He can't even remember the main character's name anymore. I'm the only one that even remembers what the book is about.
I've wanted to be a writer now for over a decade. I've wanted to write stories for a living since I was 9. I'm petrified to be next in line for what I wrote above. Everyone keeps saying "Don't worry you got this! You're strong Bravo you can power through this!" But it feels like a useless platitude. My friends seemed strong too but they all inevitably dropped the ball. Only one I know currently hasn't and even now he's faltering.
No one has an answer when I ask "What makes me different? How do you know I won't be like everyone else?" Cause even right now I'm so scared I haven't written anything in two days. I'm failing already and I don't even have a day job to juggle along with this…
Yes I know I've heard it before. "Getting a career like that is really hard you know." I don't need to hear that right now. Believe me it'd lodged it's way up way deep in my subconscious and is pounding like a drum.
Can anyone please help me? How can I make sure this isn't going to happen to me? I just really need someone who gets it to reassure me desperately and in a more solid way then. "You're strong, you can pull through." Because I already have a lot on my plate and I have my limits. I don't know what to do…
Source: reddit post