Critique my lore/sciences/magic system!


Hi! I'm pretty new here and would like for you to critique the basics of my magic system. The basis of my story revolves around this, because my magic system is also a social system of a sort.


there are two type of beings that are capable of thought in this world: Humans: People that have no mana circulation.

Manamakers: A race that have both the brain and the heart in their head, because fo their mana producer taking the heart's place.

Manamakers have three divisions:

  • Generics: Normally use wands and are the most common type of Manamakers, their magic resorts to controlling space.

  • Bringers: Their magic has a specific function giving them special unique abilities.

  • Elementals: There are only 8 every generation and they have each a unique element.

Additionally, Humans that have the genes and are exposed to mana become Mana-eaters who can only enchant objects.

There are also 3 sciences that try to explain the phenomenon of magic:

  • Magic Studies: I don't have a name for this one so bare with it. Magic itself is the reaction of mana on matter, and magic studies works by studying how it works on certain situations.

  • Manology: The study of mana, this includes the way mana is produced and absorbed, as well as Wandmaking and Spellmaking which are branches to this science.

  • Fateology: Fate works as it's own concept in my universe. Fate works as a system of consistently moving particle that always change but only the past and the set things are cemented, fate does not see the future, but the past. Fate also cements a few concepts like the Elemental War this happens every generation and will always end with one elemental surviving. Fateology consistently studies the reasons why the Manamakers exist, which a few theories have been proposed. It was proposed by a Bringer that they were angels being punished by God, the bringers were the ones that decided life and death, the elementals created balance, and the generics created the world alongside God. The other proposes that mana was a mutation that happened in a single human, and has weakened the more generations they undergo due to the mixture between humans and Manamakers.

The world There are many countries with magic societies that are hidden through different means: Ilusion, Inversion.

American magic: Less associated with the sciences, but have stricter policies against humans.

Middle Eastern Magic societies: Associates mana as a weapon, and has a practice of teaching offensive magic.

Asian Magic: Very spiritual, they are extremely discriminatory to both Mana-eaters and Humans, and share cities with normal humans.

European Magic: Magic isn't applied normally, as their cities are normally built against the belief of using magic regularly as a way of life.

The Basic Story My story takes place in the magic society around Manchester and is around contemporary times, it talks about three elemental brothers.

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