Hey all! I've spent the last few months writing myself into oblivion and I'd love to get some feedback on my first few chapters. I haven't written anything even remotely resembling prose in over a decade (since high school), so I'm sure a critique will do me some good.

The story, being my first, is of course an epic with a thousand and twelve POV characters, set in a somewhat vague timeline in Ancient Greece. It primarily follows the perspective of a queer slave who finds himself caught in the web of an ever-changing pantheon of chaotic gods and goddesses, while switching to the POV of a few of my other characters.

Fury of the Tempest

The doc contains the prologue, my first three chapters, and an interlude. It contains 4350 words in total, to keep it at a readable level.

In my actual draft I'm currently sitting at ten chapters so far with 14,653 words.

Regarding this first critique, I'm mainly after the basics. Is this interesting? What did you like? What didn't you like? Where did it all go so, so wrong?

I feel as though my dialogue can be a bit flat so I'll certainly be rewriting that. I've also had a few ideas to make my characters more memorable so I'll be editing that in too. I feel like my last few chapters (not included in the doc above) have a lot more something going on that the first few chapters lacked, but I'm just not sure how to bring them to life in the same way. Also, i'm wondering if I need my intro to be more captivating?

Read:  Concentration camp for children during WW2

I'd be more than happy to link my next few chapters if anyone is interested.

Any other critique you may have is welcome and appreciated.

Thank you to anybody taking the time to read this. I really appreciate you all and the wonderful community you've created!

– Jason

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