I know it's not much, but I hella proud of myself right now. I've been an avid reader for a long, long time. I suppose it's genetic – my dad is one as well, and also happens to be a fairly successful published author so I pretty much spent my youth around reading and writing being the holy grail of human experience lol. And for the longest time, I've wanted to create my own stories as well. Experiencing and immersing myself into worlds created JK Rowling and George RR Martin, or being awestruck by the poetry weaved through the words of Steinbeck and Mccarthy, or hell, even seeing the wonderful narratives in shows like Lost and Breaking Bad – I kept telling myself that maybe I had the capability to create something wonderful like that as well. For some reason or another, I never did, through a combination of laziness, procrastination and self-doubt. I always had these ideas running through my head though, creating imaginary worlds and giving life to characters and weaving them through a story.

I think what really held me back was the fact that I wanted to be a successful published author. I'm a competitive person by nature and it irks me when something I put work into isn't given its due respect. I wanted to see my name out there on a bestseller list, an awards shortlist, shit, even the #1 book in a goodreads recommendation list. But the more I realized the sheer scale and quantity of my competition, as well as the uphill battle required to get published and get noticed, the more discouraged I got. If no one was going to see my work, why even bother writing?

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But more recently, I've started reading this sub, as well as other writing forums, and talking to my dad about what it "means" to he a writer. Something he said really stuck with me. He said that the writing should not be a means to an end, but rather a place of comfort you can throw yourself into, to lose yourself in and make it something you have complete control over. He wanted for me to make writing a passion and not a chore. I kept reading lists on this sub that advised along the same lines My wife has been on my ass for me to get started as well lol. After after mulling over it for weeks, I finally decided to say fuck it and just do it.

So for the last week or so, I've been developing an outline for a story idea I've had for a while. I downloaded Scribner, sat my ass down last night, and I finally banged out my first 1,000 words of a real, honest-to-goodness story. And damn, it feels good. I don't know if I'll ever get published, or ever be a successful author, but just the little act of putting my thoughts on the paper (or screen rather) had an innate sense of satisfaction. Even if no one ever sees it, at least I'll know that it was a fruit of my own creativity.

Anyway, sorry about the long rant. I've just been mulling about this shit for a while and it feels good to talk about it with people that I know will understand better than anyone else.

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Tl;Dr always loved reading, wanted to write but never did, finally decided to do it after years or thinking about it and it feelsgoodman.jpg

Source: reddit post


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