Hi! So, I’m a soon-to-be 20 year old girl, and I’ve been writing in notebooks pretty much since freshman year of high school. I wouldn’t call them diaries, even though I’ve written personal thoughts in them from time to time, because most of them are filled with short stories, excerpts from fanfictions I was writing at the time, poems, etc. I still own about ten of these “notebooks” (the prettier ones, or most recent ones, that I just don’t have the heart to get rid of).
The thing is, I really wouldn’t want anyone to read these. Ever! I can prevent that from happening while I’m alive, but I keep thinking, when I die, someone will have to go through my stuff, and who will stop them from ruffling through the pages? No one! Even if I were to write “DONT READ” on everything, I doubt that’ll achieve much of anything.
I don’t really want to throw them away prematurely, even though I realize there’s absolutely no way to know around what time you’re going to die, unless I get cancer or something.
The next obvious solution, then, is to ask someone I trust to burn them for me when I do pass away. But Kakfa did exactly that, and his buddy didn’t even listen! He published the motherfucking things!
I know it was because he deemed the works too “good” to be burned away without anyone else reading them, and I doubt that what’s written in my notebooks is that level of extraordinary, but, still. It explains why I’m skeptical about “asking someone I trust to burn them for me”.
Am I being irrational? Should I just let anyone read whatever they please, since Imma be dead anyways? Or should I burn them like, right now, if it’s such a concern for me, even though I really really really don’t want to do that?
And… does anybody else feel the same about the stuff they’ve handwritten?