I have been working on a creature concept for a story idea ever sense my post from last week. Thoughts on this idea for a creature? Is there anything I could to improve on this particular creature?

Story Background: Two brothers are hunting out in a secluded forest. One is in his early thirties, while the younger one is in his late teens. A few hours into the hunting trip, a mysterious shape-shifting creature ambushes them. The younger brother is horribly mauled, but the older brother briefly fends the creature off just before it could kill him. Unfortunately, the creature has resumed its hunt, and is hellbent on finishing off it’s prey.

Nature of the creature: The creature is a mysterious shape-shifting predator. Very little is known about the creature, beyond its unexplained and unquenchable thirst for human flesh. Unlike natural animals, the creature kills other living creatures even when it isn’t hungry. It is best contextualized as a forest spirit or demon that has a physical body. Once this creature is on the hunt for a specific prey item, no earthly force can possibly deter it. Those who dare to get in between the creature and it’s prey ask for death.

It usually scouts for human prey by taking the form of an entirely mundane and non threatening animal in the area. Usually a sparrow or a squirrel. Once it spots a potential target, it will study and analyze the person(s) for hours at a time. Once it feels like the victim is vulnerable, it will take a more physically powerful form (usually the mammal, avian, or reptile) and jump the target.

Firearms (especially high powered rifles and 12 gauge shotguns) are effective as temporary repellents against the creature. However, firearms are unable to penetrate the creature’s skin, and the creature is able to recuperate within moments after being shot. Fire is much more effective at driving the creature off. Burning the creature will not kill it, but it will cause enough damage to incapacitated it for a several hours.

Creature forms:

Avian: The creature has dark brown feathers, with tips of black on the wings. Its body shape heavily resembles a panther. The head strongly resembles a wolf, only with a Pteranodon like beak.

It’s talons are about 6 inches long and useful for grasping and tearing. The talons are powerful enough to strip flesh from bone. It has two talons and a pair of wings. The wings are bat like, but feathered like a bird. When walking, the creature walks quadrupedal, and uses its wings as forelimbs. The creatures is about 8 feet long from nose to tail, while the wingspan is about 20 feet from tip to tip.

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The creature takes this form to chase down the brothers when they attempt to drive away in their truck.

Reptile: The creature has a large angular head similar to that of a Dromaeosaur. The creature has 3 inch serrated teeth, with the 5 inch canine teeth protruding from the mouth. It’s head and neck are covered in a thick mane of green feathers. The rest of the creature’s body is made of scales. The creature is mostly quadrupedal in it’s movements, but can stand on its hind legs for brief periods of time. It is very slender, yet well muscled in build.

The creature is the size of a Saint Bernard, and can reach to a man’s shoulders when standing on its hind legs. It’s skin color is dark green, with spotted patches of light green scattered across the body.

This is the starting form when the creature attacks the youngest brother. It switches to the mammal form after the older brother easily chases it off.

Mammal: The creature is very humanoid in body shape and walking stance. It is about 12 feet tall in height, and is extremely stocky and well muscled. It’s head is extremely man like in shape. The head is permanently hunched over. It’s claws are dagger like, and can tear a person’s entails from his/her stomach with relative ease. The creature has ram like horns on the side of it’s head.

The creature’s unearthly elongated and bulky arms and legs are almost human like in appearance, with the exception of the hands and feet. The hands are reptilian, and have a trio of clawed fingers on the hands. Its’ feet are shaped like a human’s feet, yet are scaled and have tiger like claws on the toes.

The body is covered in thick dark gray fur from head to ankles. The fur covers its face, leaving few facial features visible. The only facial features visible is a long sausage shaped nose and a pair of glowing red eyes. It’s fur hides a formidable jaw, with a bite force equal to that of a lion.

The creature takes this form when the reptile form was easily fought off by the eldest brother. It uses this form to chase the brothers, until they reach their truck.

Arthropod: This creature is a very large scorpion the size of a pickup truck, just excluding the tail. It has two sets of mandibles, with multiple set of eyes. The head is oval like in shape, with rectangular crests protruding from the head. It’s legs are twice the height of an average human, and are clearly capable of scaling through difficult terrain. The creature has two sets of forelimbs. The primary forelimbs are the pincer claws and the secondary forelimbs contain spinneret organs.

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The primary pincer claws are powerful enough to rip a door off a car. The webs produced by the secondary forelimbs are powerful to entangle and restrain a bull. It’s stinger tail is about 15 feet long, with the stinger tip itself is about 12 inches in length. It’s exoskeleton color is sandy brown.

In the work, it uses this form to bulldoze the house the brother’s where hiding in.

Amphibian: This is the form the creature takes when it needs to go underwater. The creature’s aquatic form strongly resembles a gigantic Axolotl. The head is vaguely triangular and extremely blunt. It has a pair of fan like frills that cover and protect the gills. The teeth are about a foot in length, and are placed in a crocodile like formation. It is about about 30 feet long from the nose to tail. It’s skin color is dark grey. The webbed flipper like limbs are the same length as an average human, and is useful for navigating through the lake near the creature’s domain.

As the narrative does not take place near a lake, the creature never takes this form in the story.

Original post


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