Which summary/description sounds more enticing? Criticism/Feedback wanted.


Hi guys, I'm new to this subreddit and recently decided to follow a journey to chase my dreams. I wish for honest feedback, criticism and scrutiny. I want to improve my craft in any way possible and really don't get offended for any negative input so please be honest. I hope that anything I post is not against the rules, though after reviewing them twice and double checking I don't believe this question is against any and if it is I sincerely apologize, it's an honest mistake if it is. Anyways, I would love your input/criticism/feedback on which description sounds more enticing and persuasive. This is NOT a self-promotion post, I simply need help in creating an attractive and aesthetic summary for my first book which I have self-published on Amazon.

Here's the current description:

" This is a story about an aspiring writer (Michael) questioning the purpose for our creation. On his journey through philosophizing life, he stumbles upon the pharmaceutical forbidden fruit of knowledge. After consuming this for a while, he starts to wonder if he’s going insane as he questions reality and receives immediate answers to all of his thoughts through the spawn of a divine, ethereal doorway of infinite knowledge and wisdom unlocked in his mind. Eventually, he either loses his mind or becomes reality and time itself.

Is he truly a prophet or just a mad man? Is this a modern testament and channeling of higher consciousness or just the diary of a lost mind? You be the judge.

This book will attempt to explain various elements of our existence in the form of metaphors, poetry, metaphysical analogies and mind bending facts of our nature. "

Here's what I've been thinking about replacing it with:

"Have you ever wondered why we're here? Have you ever thought about what we're doing on this planet that's flying at immeasurable speeds through space and time in a universe so vast we can't even begin to comprehend it's origins and nature? Well, I have. Fortunately, I've stumbled upon something divine. It's the reverse-engineered product of evolution, the golden apple. It is the pharmaceutical forbidden fruit of knowledge and I have unlocked all of these answers in my mind. I'm going insane trying to absorb all of this information and I've decided to write it all down in a nice little poetic story, just for you. I'm becoming reality and time itself. I'm becoming unstable. I'm losing my mind, but finding myself. Help me while I help you understand."

Source: reddit post


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